It's Friday,
I'm glad, that means Hubs will be with me for 2 days straight. This week we had 2 weeks off together due to the snow. I'm so grateful I don't have to drive in the stuff to go to work. On the other hand, another day of scary finances. Hope hope hope, Lord, you called me to do this, where are my orders. Trust, boy that is HARD.
I spent yesterday restitching the quilt I started back in 2005 for my now ex-Step Princess. It was all wrong. seams were not consistent, I had made it square and figured by measurements that it needed to be seam ripped and made into a rectangle. Then I realized it wasn't wide enough so I decided to add borders. Now it's ready. It took forever to reseam and try to figure out the border. Today, finally, I will load it onto my quilting machine to quilt my very first quilt for myself.
What is God trying to show me. Touching the fabric, thinking back at the time I cut out the pieces...made me happy. I lived on a farm...with moo cows. I was on a hill and enjoyed the most beautiful sunrises. I missed my Son terribly, but things were going good with my Step Princess and Princess...even ExKing. By this time ExKing's Oldest special needs prince had been in a facility tailored to help him as he had Intermittent Explosive Disorder, mentally handicapped, ADHD, OCD, he was missed too and occasionally came to visit. ExKing was working for a John Deere equipment place in MO. I remember the Christmas tree was decorated with home made yellow angels out of yarn and green glass drop beaded ornaments and tiny miniature tractors that year. The *good* was /short lived. Only 4 months then ExKing's former employer from KS called and offered to move ExKing back to Kansas. ExKing wasn't known for staying put long so he jumped at it....and we moved....again. I packed the quilt top up in a box and told myself "someday" I'll finish it.
I miss the farm, I miss the silly cows, I miss the sunrises, I don't miss ExKing but I do miss ExPrincess. You can't be a StepQueen for 13years and just turn your love off for a child. She has nothing to do with me now since her Dad and I split. I have no idea what he told her - and I really don't care, but I do still care about her. I have a feeling in her Dad's attempt to move forward, he told her to just forget about me. She is loyal to her Dad. There is a little hole in my heart from that loss.
So today is someday. Today is the day the quilt will be loaded onto my machine and I will stitch. I will reminisce again of the time spent on the farm, I will pray and ask God to show me what his will is again, and I will stitch.
Today is someday...
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